However when I was about sixteen began to wonder if anything I was learning could possibly be true. You see I had noticed something in christians that I couldn't see in any one else. I saw a peace, strength and an on going happiness in the Christians around me. Thus began the battle of my soul. I think deep down I knew that it was true, that Jesus was there, but my head was telling me differently. Although I wanted to believe because I knew there was something in it, I could see what it was. The main message of Christianity is that Jesus died to save you from your sins so that you can have eternal life. I wondered how Christians could be so amazed about that and base their whole lives on it. Why should I be grateful for that, it's not like I asked Jesus to die for me? I didn't really believe that I was a sinner.

I began to long for God's love, to belong to Him. Inside I knew it was
real, but there were so many niggling doubts inside that I just could not
ignore. I began to pray every night that God would find me and help me believe and trust in Him, I seemed to be getting nowhere...

In the summer of 2004 I went to a Christian camp in Germany with some
friends from church. On the second day, we were in one of our meetings and the leader was talking about commitments to God. He said that perhaps there were some people who had never really been able to get it going with God, never had that intimate relationship wit Him, never seen Him face to face and at that point I just burst into tears because I knew it was describing me exactly. He asked anyone who wanted to know Jesus to come up to the front to be prayed for. At that point my heart began to pound inside my chest and I started to shake all over. I just knew that it was God drawing me near to Him, asking me to give my life to Him. Well in the end I didn't go to the front because I was shaking so much I'm not sure that I would have made it, but my group leader, who was sitting next to me, prayed with me and i asked Jesus into my heart.

Three months on and my life are so different. I have a peace that I've never known before and I know that all my sins are forgiven. Jesus love is so real and I sometimes wonder why I didn't see it before. Now Jesus is everything to me, more than a story, more than words on a page of history. Jesus died to save us from our sins and to bring us back to Him. No, I didn't ask Him to do it, but that's the most wonderful thing about it:

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our iniquities
And the punishment that brought US peace was
Upon HIM and by HIS wounds WE are healed.
Isaiah 53 verse 5

Had Jesus not bore God's anger for us turning against Him, then all of us
would face an eternity of torture. To me this is the most wonderful thing
ever, because I know I face an eternity with Jesus and I pray that every one of you that reads this testimony will come to know the love of Jesus. 

If you are searching for Jesus, do not give up, because He will find you and then your life can never be the same. Someone described Jesus as the’ hound of heaven' and He's after every one of us. When we give our lives to him, he will write our name in the book of life.

Jesus has a desire to know anyone who will come to Him; He'll never turn
anyone away who is sincerely searching for Him.

Rebekah cole – united Kingdom
reebokcale@hotmail.com (probably has to be reebokcole@hotmail.com)